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When We Abandon Our Self.

  • Writer: Fox Eros
    Fox Eros
  • Feb 25, 2023
  • 2 min read

When I first heard of ‘Self-Abandonment’ I felt deeply sad. Even in my moments of not knowing / remembering my worth, I don’t like the sound of me abandoning my own Self. I’m not always aware when I do this, but thinking back I have definitely abandoned my own needs in order to be liked or accepted by others, or because I had no idea what my needs were.


We may not even be aware of what we need because we don’t know how we feel. Sometimes we’ve suppressed our needs for so long they are unrecognizable. And that’s okay… in time we can learn. (Pro-tip: Our bodies can also give us signals of what we may need). ❤ 1. We learn self-care from our primary care-givers. If they were’t able to model it for you then YOU get to decide what it is, feels and looks like now 2. When we ignore, diminish or deny our own needs over others — we are abandoning our Self. If no one ever taught you your worth — you may need to explore, practice and build up your Self knowing 3. We may abandon our Self in all types of relationships: work, family, friendships, Lover(s) and s*x. Setting boundaries that honor who we are is Self-Care that you are worthy of. 4. If you often Self-Abandon, try: • Acknowledging your uncomfortable feelings • Practice soothing your Self when harder feelings arise • Challenge your Inner Critical Voice with Love • Self-Compassion • Choosing your needs over others • Seeing your needs as just as important as others • Creating a visual safe space in your mind to rest in Now that I am aware of when I self-abandon, I can get back to my Self and choose to also honor my needs, with practice and compassionate curiosity of course. All of this takes practice & time baes.

We are worthy of setting boundaries in all of our relationships: sex, friends, family, Lover(s) work and so on. We are here to feel joy and goodness baes. And we are as important as anyone else. OOHHHH! I can see your shine coming thru! The world betta' watch out now. :)


Fox M., Therapist (AMFT)


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"We will reclaim our Self worth, body, pleasure and peace of mind.
These are acts of radical liberation — these are our birth rights."
~ With Love, Fox Eros

Fox Eros, AMFT BBS #137653
Supervised by Patrice Bone: LMFT #93803
Employed by Therapy UnScripted: A Marriage & Family Therapy Corporation

* Land Acknowledgment - I honor the land I am on of the Chumash and Gabrielino-Tongva peoples

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